Journalling Page!

14 Dec 2023, Random thought:

Discord light mode looks like someone reversed the colours on my laptop...

12 Sept 2024:

So, I finally continued this little project. While I was making this site I was very much influenced by old internet culture and spacehey. Well, old internet culture is still a big part of my personality, but spacehey not so much anymore. The site has lost its nostalgic charm for me. Too many children who start online drama on that site. Dunno, it seems like nobody there is really interested in anything that isn't drama.

Because my brain needs some respite from the non-stop studying I'm currently doing and mainly because HTML customisation and the general feeling of making the internet your own does not exist in the modern internet, I've revived this little site. I'll try to remember everything I've forgotten about html editing, it's been a long time lol.

My art has also changed significantly, will definetely update my art page on here. I still post to instagram and text friends on there, but the reels I see on my for you page, or rather, their comments, make me depressed. I've decided to cut back my use of algorithm-powered social media for now and this has made me realise that, without the algorithm, we who are used to it are practically lost when browsing the internet. I'm definetely inclined to spend less time on social media because there is no endless flow of videos pulling me back to my screen.

I don't know who I'm writing this journal, or making this website for. My digital footprint concerns me very much and I do not wish to face the declination of a job offer, just because a younger version of myself decided to post their art and random thoughts here.

All I know at this moment is that this journal is a way to get things off my chest, and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to do so.

Je posterai peut-etre quelques entrees en francais ou espagnol, juste parce que ce site est un espace pour moi et mes idees et parfois je ne peux pas m'exprimer en anglais. (okay. y a pas d'accents sur neocities.. compris)

19 Sept 2024:

Je crois que je suis confuse. Je fais n'importe quoi pour interpreter les signes qui me donnent les gens. Je voudrais bien faire partie d'une amitie tres proche, avec des personnes qui me comprennent, qui sont comme moi. Le seul probleme est le fait que je n'ai aucune personalite. Je m'adapte toujours. Et en fait, je me sens seule. Toutes les personnes autour de moi sont amoureuses, ou en couple, et je ne sais pas si je suis jalouse, parce que l'affection me manque tellement, ou si c'est juste la pression de la societe. Du coup, si je m'imagine en couple je me sens bizarre et inconfortable. Je crois que c'est l'affection amicale qui me manque.